It was one of those rare meetings for which "erudite" and "debunking" were appropriate descriptors as we said 'buh-bye!' to President Buh-Bruce.

Over the year we've worn out 'Prez Shoulda Bean,' 'President Almost Bean,' and, lately, 'Has Bean,' but now we know you can just call him 'Professor.'

 

 

 

He and Debunking District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe both teach Advanced Public Speaking at Stanford University. Who (in the hell) knew?"

And they're co-authors of a book, "Romancing the Room, How to Engage Your Audience, Court Your Crowd, and Speak Successfully in Public

Bruce seems to be almost getting the hang of it.

The funniest thing: Chris Eckert sent out a desperate email asking for any dirt on the guy. Nobody responded.

Chris was reduced to caricaturing Bruce's well-known penchant of riding his bike to board meetings in full regalia. Even Chris couldn't summon the courage to imitate Bruce in Spandex. Oh, those calves.

Chief Susan Manheimer brought her own regalia for Bruce to try out. He donned a San Mateo PD Kevlar SWAT helmet and Kevlar flak jacket, protected front and back in case he should take a knife between the shoulder blades, but the only wounds he suffered were verbal rapier thrusts at the hands of his old buddy Wagstaffe.

His speech, he said, would be like a Snickers bar, "mostly sweet but with a few nuts thrown in."

He began with a "What's That About?" slide showing Bruce in the stands at a Giants game, holding an MLB baseball. He hadn't caught it. The woman sitting next to him had.

There would be more to follow.

 

 

"Pathetic piece by pathetic piece," he promised, he would present "the Bean Bewildered Biography…"

"If we can make penicillin out of moldy bread, we can make something out of Bruce."

Some bio-facts: Bruce started out as a roofer in Boulder, Colo. He's also been an architect. Then sold commercial real estate. Then an attorney. Then a speech professor. Then he became modest and self-effacing. Never would anyone have called him Has Bean had we known. Wagstaffe said success was a struggle, but Bruce overcame "his baffling, bizarre stump speeches."

Some mots justs from le Avocat Distrit:

His role model: Mr. Bean. Brue is a human Bean. His name is Bruce Bean: "There is a roast all by itself."

Some Bruce malaprops:

"Johnny Deep." "Tonto and the Long Ranger." "Cinco de Mayo (instead of 'Mah-yo')." "Mackerel Degeneration."

To his credit, Wagstaffe said, Bruce never claimed to be "the brightest bolt in the knife drawer."

We know you enjoyed romancing the room, Bruce, and just about every Thursday you managed to do it. You certainly didn't disappoint with your parting thought, quoting…the notes say Billy de Martin or Cheech Marin or maybe neither of those…that you can expect roses and thorns and weird things in life.

"My thorn is that it's over."

 

Then he turned the meeting over to our very own version of AOC, Anne E. Campbell, for adjournment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kitty Lopez quoted Antoine de St. Exupery. "If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Juan Raigoza brought us news out of actual newspapers: The U.S. Supreme Court, in a supreme puzzler, let stand political gerrymandering and declined to take up the issue of a citizenship question on the U.S. Census form, forcing the Trump administration to back down.

 

 

 

 

Cheryl Angeles lost her mother, Patricia Nixon, of Henderson, Nev. Pat raised Cheryl and three siblings as a single mother, working first for the Fremont Planning Department and later for the police department and still later as a jailer for the Santa Clara County Sheriff's Department. Pat was one of five female deputies fired for being too old, which prompted them to sue the department and win.Condolences, Cheryl.

Bill Kenney also reported that Dick DeLuna has had back surgery and is recovering well, recuperating at his daughter's home in Alexandria, Va.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dick Bennett presented the latest honorees, the San Mateo Police Activities League and Samaritan House. Receiving grant awards were Alex Greer of the San Mateo Department of Parks and Recreation, Sgt. Kimber Joyce of the police department and PAL staffer Lisa Tartuglia for the Police Activities League. Accepting for Samaritan House was Executive Director Bart Charlow.

 

 

July 18 — Potluck (and Music) in the Park. The club will gather during the city's Music in the Park series at 5 p.m. for barbecue at Rotary Grove. Bring an appetizer, a salad or a desert.

Aug. 6 — Rotary Day in Pacifica